Phase 9 : Seeing things in Stereo...

Remember those old films, and black-and-white science fiction series, showing experimental laboratories, where shelves and shelves hold glass jars of all sizes, with latex modelled organs and brains. Sometimes "pulsing" or "throbbing", or on the more cheesy far-fetched ones, 'talking' to a badly acted lab assistant in the white coat. How ironic that the liquid used for the preserving tended to be alcohol. Surely, then, alcohol must keep it in tip-top shape. It must help to maintain its function?
I used to notice, from early on in my drinking career, that I could tell when alcohol was adversely affecting my brain function. I could control the "unsteadyness" to some degree. I learnt the language of "speaking without slurring", very quickly. These skills I honed to perfection, and they came in extremely handy during later drinking life. They never gave anyone an "outside" clue, to the "inside" condition. However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop myself getting double vision. The moment when the world seems to split, into 2 identical images, albeit slightly out of alignment, and next to each other, rather than on top of each other. Almost a camera trick, you might see on a 1980's pop video. It was unnerving when I first started drinking, and even more bizarre when it re-occurred in later life, but I found a cure...
...."Gotta long drive today, so best make sure I have enough provisions". The recognisable "clank" of the glass bottles nestled in the carrier bag rhythmically chimed, as I walked to the car. The remainder of yesterdays in one, and, obviously, a fresh one just in case a shop isn't near, in the other. A litre of water weighs 1kg exactly, so assuming Vodka is equal, then no wonder the bag is cutting into my fingers. 1.5kg gets heavy after a while. I make sure that after settling into the driver seat, I unscrew the sealed cap on the unopened bottle, before setting off. Tricky to do that whilst trying to change gear, and driving, so best to be prepared. Slide that one under the passenger seat first, with the narrow neck of the top facing forward. Easy to reach and grab when needed. The half full bottle has just enough space to slide in next. A couple of "nerve settlers" before I position it though. Throat seems a little sore today, so the liquid "bites" a bit more than usual. The third "gulp" makes me wince slightly, and rub my chest, just at the top of my ribcage. I have found this little "technique" good at taking my mind off of the inevitable urge of my stomach to try and repel this liquid breakfast. As I rub the spot focussing on this movement, and make small little gulps of residual liquid in my mouth, I breath through my nose. Doing this for about 10 seconds quells this urge, and I am on my way. I have to find a different technique later, as this one no longer works, and occasionally my stomach wins the fight. Whereby I decorate my dashboard with recently ejected alcoholic spray. But not today.
Today seemed like any other day. I think. Except today 2 things were to happen, and those 2 things happened exactly at the same time. I could see them happening, and couldnt stop them. The traffic lights suddenly became 2 red, then 2 amber, and 2 green. I looked around and where I always remember a single "give way" sign, someone had positioned two. My eyes darted from left to right, as best as I could manage at 10 in the morning, but everwhere I looked a duplicate of everything had appeared. This was going to test my driving skills, thats for sure. The road ahead doubled in lanes to choose, only the problem was that there was double the amount of cars occupying them. I didnt panic though. With my new found imaginative sense. My new aptitude for problem solving, I came up with the answer. It was one that I would use for many a month to come, as the double world appeared more regularly.
I shut one eye.
The "other" world immediately dissappeared, and I had the answer I thought I needed.
What I failed to realise was that rather than being purposely blind in one eye, I was completely blinded in both, to the "real" world.